Renalina
by Mesita
Summary: [HoroRen centric] Thumbelina Parody. Ren is tiny. REALLY tiny. Right when he thinks he's the only little person in the world, he meets the Shaman Prince, is kidnapped by the XLaws and is in for the fairy tale of his life.
1. Let me be your wiiings

**::Kitzaku::**

  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King, or Thumbelina. Yet, I somehow managed to come up with this idea? O-o; Ergh, I'm all sapped of funny disclaimers.   
  
**Authoress Note**: Yo~! From the mind that brought you The Shamans Who Don't Do Anything I now bring you another parody. Why I can't think anything up for myself I don't know. I spent all my creative abilities on making icons, I'm just that stupid. Right~!   
  
I wanted to write a HoroRen and the other day I had watched Thumbelina and decided that I'd just write... Renalina. Though Horolina and Mantalina had even popped through my brain, I can only use one Idea and I don't want to have to re-write different versions of this. So, yeah you know. ^^;   
  
**Dedication?**: I'm actually dedicating this chapter and/or story to my friend Marisa who I talked a buttload about this story with and she put up with it. ^^;   
  
Enough chit-chat!   
  


**::Renalina::**

  
  
Once upon a time... yes, seeing as this is a fairy--er--shaman tale, there lived a beautiful young woman. Now, this woman was in love with a zombie and could not have any children.   
  
Not that she wanted any. She wished and longed for a little brother.   
  
One day, a mysterious shaman appeared. His hair long and wavy, skin a deep brown, tall, dark, not-so-handsome and he donned a pink apron with a flower on it.   
  
"Do not be afraid, Jun Tao." The shaman said to the woman, who clearly was Jun. "I bear good news."   
  
Jun looked frightened anyway, more at seeing him in an apron. "Who are you?" She asked.   
  
He took a bow. "I am Kurim. Your Shaman Godfather."   
  
"...oh!"   
  
"Do not be distressed!" Kurim cried. "I have come to grant your wish. Here, take this grain of rice I stole from an anime set. Never mind the weird markings. [1] Plant this and see what happens."   
  
Jun took the grain of rice and did as Kurim told her. For a week she tended to this... mound of dirt placed in a teacup. She watered it, fed it crackers and took it out for a walk on Thursday.   
  
Finally a plant sprouted and a delicate Chinese rice bowl formed at the top of the stalk instead of a flower. But in that rice bowl was a little boy so tiny, he was about the size of Jun's tumb. His dark blue almost purple hair came to a point at the top of his head. Jun loved him at once.   
  
He woke up and stretched. Jun smiled down at him. "Hello."   
  
"...hi. Wait, who the hell are you?" he said.   
  
"I'm your big sister, Jun!" she clapped. "And I shall call you Renalina."   
  
Renalina scowled.   
  
"Or Ren for short." Jun added quickly.   
  
Renalina liked this idea better.   
  
For a long time, Jun and Renalina--Ren--lived rather happily. though Ren did get in many fights with the cat over milk. That same cat, after having a breakthrough therapy session 8 years later invented the phrase "Don't Cry over spilled milk." And made a fortune selling T-shirts and mousepads.   
  
Ren, however, was not so successful. He seemed to be a nuisance to his sister around the house because he was so small. And, on occasion, he was forced to wear doll clothes when his normal ones were dirty. The bugs and mice in the house gave him the nickname 'Cinderella Ren' when he was in those clothes.   
  
In short, life wasn't peachy sometimes and Ren got lonely for intelligent company his size that didn't eat cheese or go through an entire life cycle in one day.   
  
One night, Jun was reading to him a book called 'Supier Strategy' but it had nothing to do with anything the title said. It reminded Ren oddly of 'To Kill a Mockingbird.' In any case, there were plenty of pretty pictures to look at.   
  
"Who are those glowing people?" Ren asked.   
  
"Why, those are shamans!"   
  
Ren was quite surprised to find out that they were little people, like him. He stated this to Jun and she nodded. "I'll leave the book open tonight so you can see the pictures."   
  
She did so, tucked Ren in, turned out the light and closed the door. As soon as she was gone, Ren hopped out of his walnut shell bed and walked over to the open book.   
  
"I want to be shiny and glowy like a shaman." He pouted and kicked a stray dustbunny. For a long time Ren entertained himself with poses from the book. He talked to the images and drove himself so mad he never noticed someone at the window.   
  
~*~   
  
Golden chariots raced across the sky. Two blue-haired shamans led the way, talking briskly and waving their glowing 'oversouls' around, turning leaves brown.   
  
"It's time for Autumn and why we have to change the leaves is beyond me, but what the Great Spirit says, goes." The man, who appeared to be the Shaman King said.   
  
His wife, the First Lady, or Shaman Queen agreed. "But I wish I knew where our reckless son went. I know he's flying on that ridiculous snowboard again."   
  
"Who, Boroboro?" the Shaman King asked.   
  
"Horohoro, dear." the Shaman Queen corrected.   
  
"Oh, yes... of course." the King said. "Well, he's young. Leave him alone. I think he's still trying to stop the production of non-Koropokkuru-Safe Tuna or something."   
  
Hesitantly, the Queen agreed and they continued without him.   
  
Bo--Horohoro, meanwhile, was flying around on his snowboard, his best buddy, Kororo at his side. They were handing out 'Stop the non-Koropokkuru-Safe Tuna' flyers as a campaign, when Horohoro heard some shouting coming from a house. Curious, he investigated.   
  
"What if it's a madman, eh, Kororo?" Horohoro smirked. His hair was every bit as bright blue as his parents, but spikey in it's own crown fashion. He just wore a tiara because the Shaman Princess, Bilika, said it looked pretty.   
  
"Kukuku!" Kororo answered.   
  
Horohoro seemed to understand and landed on the windowsill. He stopped inside to see the most gorgeous, sexy-licious, yummy scrumboes guy he'd ever seen, besides Hao down by the pub. (Who, funnily enough, wated to overthrow Horohoro's father.) The Shaman Prince's heart skipped a beat and he stealthily snuck up on the guy... until he fell flat on his face.   
  
~*~   
  
Ren's response was automatic. He, well, turned around and gawked. Some complete, yet good-looking, idiot was dusting himself off mere centimeters away from him and Ren couldn't help but take in the obvious fact that were both indeed the same height, give or take a millimeter or two.   
  
His suprised got the better of him and he gave a little, "Oh!"   
  
The blue-haired...thingy took a step closer now that he had gotten up. "Don't be afraid!"   
  
The original Ren finally sank in, and he folded his arms. "Afraid? Hmph. I fear nothing."   
  
An odd grin plastered itself to the dude's face. "_Do_ you?" And he launched himself at Ren, pinning him at once. "You really are yummy scrumboes. You know that right?"   
  
"W...what?" Ren turned an interesting shade of scarlet.   
  
"Ah, nevermind." He sighed. Ren growled and threw him off.   
  
"Who are you?" The point on Ren's head grew as he got angry.   
  
"Horohoro!"   
  
"Boroboro?"   
  
"HOROHORO!"   
  
"Oh."   
  
Horohoro tapped his foot impatiently and Ren realized he was supposed to introduce himself. Though he didn't _want_ to, seeing as this was a complete stranger, he was, after all, the first little person Ren had encountered. And he had complimented him. Sorta. In a stupid sort of way.   
  
"I'm Renalina." he said before the words came out of his mouth, if that made any sense.   
  
"Renalina?"   
  
"I mean Ren!"   
  
"Ren..." Horohoro scrunched up his face. "I like it."   
  
"I didn't _ask_ you." Ren was getting angry again. His anger quickly subsided when Horohoro started to glow. Ren was transfixed for a long moment before commenting. "Are you a shaman?"   
  
"In the flesh!" He beamed.   
  
Ren smirked. "Heh, so is there a Shaman Court?"   
  
"Yes..." Horohoro said slowly.   
  
"Do they have a son?"   
  
"Yes..."   
  
"I'll bet he's cunning, good-looking and strong." Ren looked disgusted.   
  
"Oh, he is." Horohoro breamed, getting closer to Ren, who was nodding slowly, completely unaware that his personal space bubble was being popped.   
  
"And I'll bet he's single." He continued.   
  
Horohoro said a quick "Uh-huh..." before getting even closer. His breathing was getting awfully shallow.   
  
"And that means he'll inherit the throne."   
  
Horohoro's hands were now hovering over Ren's ass. "Uh-huh..."   
  
"I," Ren smirked. "Will kill him."   
  
And Horohoro dropped his hands in surprise and slapped Ren hard in the ass, which made the little guy fall forward, straight into Horohoro's arms. Ren was more than ready to pull himself away, but Horohoro held him tight and actually, he didn't seem to mind it much. It was nice to be held this way.   
  
Horohoro suddenly broke, as if he'd just now realized what Ren had said, and held him fiercly by the shoulders. "What?"   
  
"Oh, I'm better than the prince of Shamans so I'm going to kill him."   
  
"Oh..." Oddly enough, the blue dude shut up. There was an awkward silence for a while when there was a loud random noise at the window.   
  
"What was that?" Ren looked towards it.   
  
"That's just Kororo, but Koropokkuru."   
  
"Kor-o-who-da-what-it?"   
  
"Nevermind. Hey! You wanna go on a ride on my snowboard?" Horohoro took a hold of Ren's hand and pulled him towards the window without waiting for a response.   
  
Ren was pretty much obligated to go, though deep down he really wanted to. But you don't know that. Neither did he in that case.   
  
While Horohoro seemed to be extremely comfortable cruising on his snowboard, Ren, to put it simply, wasn't. When Horohoro lifted off the windowsill, Ren's arms instinctively wrapped themselves around Horohoro's waist to keep balance. Horohoro placed his arms over Ren's and turned his head back to face him.   
  
"You all right?"   
  
Ren's face went cold. "I said, I fear nothing."   
  
"Yes, but are you alright?"   
  
Ren narrowed his eyes and nodded.   
  
"Good." Horohoro smiled. This softened Ren a little, seeing the happiness on the blue-haired boy's already handsome face. Ren would have smiled himself if Horohoro hadn't said just then, "I'm going to sing a romantic-like sappy song to make you fall in love with me."   
  
Ren's good feeling shattered. "We just met."   
  
"Do you beleive in love at first site?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Would you like a flier to help prevent the manufacture of non-Koropokkuru-safe Tuna?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Then let me sing."   
  
"Fine." Ren attempted to fold his arms, but this only resulted in him holding Horohoro tighter. Horohoro took that as a move to get him to start.   
  
"Let me be your wings... Let me be your only love..." he began. His voice was well rounded and beautiful. Ren wasn't even paying attention to to it. He was busy going over how he got here in the first place and how the hell he could get out. Horohoro went on singing the romantically sappy song and completely unaware of the fact that Ren was now trying not to fall asleep.   
  
The point on his hair jabbed Horohoro in the ear so he was forced to stop and take note that Ren was nodding off.   
  
So, Horohoro flew Ren back to his windowsill and dropped him off. Not that they had gone very far in the first place. Just over the meadow and through the woods and turned around at the daisy field. "When shall I see you again?"   
  
Ren raised an eyebrow. "Do you have any less-stupid friends?"   
  
"I'm not stupid!" Horohoro snapped. "For your information, I am the--" he stopped and listened as if hearing something in the distance.   
  
"The what?" Ren inquired.   
  
"Horohoro!" A middle-aged woman's voice rand through the night. "Horohoro, we're going home!"   
  
"Who's that?" Ren looked to Horohoro, who groaned.   
  
"My mom..."   
  
"Mom?"   
  
"Yeah." He was peeking out from the open window, dodging whenever he saw movement. "The Shaman Queen."   
  
If Ren had anything in his mouth at the moment he would have spit it out. But unfortunately, or fortunately, he didn't. "Queen? So you're--you're the..."   
  
"Prince?" he finished. "Yeah."   
  
Ren paused for a moment before launching at Horohoro's throat. "I'll kill you!"   
  
"Renalina--" Horohoro gasped; Ren's grip tightened. "I-I mean, Ren! Why-?"   
  
"I'm prettier than you! I should be the Shaman Prince!"   
  
Horohoro somehow managed to get himself away from Ren's grip and picked up his snowboard. Kororo was going crazy outside the windowsill. "If you marry me, you _will_ be the Shaman Prince!"   
  
Ren didn't hesitate in kicking the Prince out the window. The King and Queen were still calling out for him and once Horohoro had uprighted himself on his snowboard, he sped off toward them, looking back once at Ren's window and calling out:   
  
"I'll come for you!"   
  
Ren scoffed and shut the window. Though he had to admit, the sudden appearance as unwelcome as it had been, was exciting. Ren almost pretty much anticipated the return of Horohoro.   
  
But what niether of them calculated, was when they were out flying, a troupe of traveling dancers saw the two of them flying by. One dancer, named Lyserg, had his eye steadfast on Ren. Never moving or blinking.   
  
The troupe leader came out for a moment to call Lyserg in for dinner, but seeing the look on the green-haired boy's face stopped him.   
  
"Lyserg, what's wrong?" He took a seat next to him.   
  
"Marco, I've just seen themost beautiful creature alive." He murmured dreamily.   
  
Marco put his arm around Lyserg. "Tell me which way to go and I'll go and get them for you."   
  
"You would?"   
  
"We can't perform if you're all depressed! Maybe their beauty will be an asset to our show." Marco encouraged him. "Now, point me in the direction and I will go and get this beautiful creature for you."   
  
"I think he went that way." Lyserg pointed in a direction.   
  
Marco stood up. "I go tonight." He picked up a burlap sack. "Wish me luck." And with that, he was off to capture Renalina.   
[1] Er, when Asakura-san made them all write their names on a grain of rice.   
  


**End. Chapter 1**

  
  
**Kitzaku**: It took me a while, but the "Fairies" that live in the "Vale of the Fairies" are now the "Shamans" that live in "The Luh Field of the Shamans" because I have no life and I'm trying to make some similarities. O_O;   
  
**Yugi Muse**: So, which muse helped you with this one, eh?   
  
**Kitzaku**: My subconscious actually. Knives, not Manta. Manta was busy coming up with a shrine to himself.   
  
**Knives**: I. Am. Better. Than. You.   
  
**Yugi Muse**: O_O; Just review the damn fic already. Constructive-criticism, ideas and crappage is very much welcome.   
  
**Kitzaku**: Eesh. _someone's_ PMSing. 


	2. The Best Place

**::Kitzaku::**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Shaman King, that belongs to the wonderful Hirouyuki Takei. I don't own Thumbelina either. That belongs to Hans Christian Anderson.

**Notes: **Actually, like any good wannabe writer, I looked up the original Thumbelina story by Hans Christian Anderson. It was hilarious because it written so BADLY. And the Swallow kept changing its gender. XD Thumbelina hadn't met the Fairy Prince at the beginning either. She was just captured by a toad. (who can't rumba.) In any case, in the END, she moved in with the Swallow and met this Flower Fairy dude and married him.

Now that you're educated, read this and warp your brain. Enter: Yoh and Ryu! Yay! I'll put more of the Lilly 5 in too. Because they're supposed to be the 'Jitterbugs' remember them? Yeah, they're the ones that melted the Fairy Prince.

**::Renalina::**

"He's the most wonderful, handsome, yummy scrumboes guy I've ever laid eyes upon besides Hao down by the pub who incidentally wants to take over your kingdom, Father!" Horohoro frantically explained his situation to his parents. They were seated on their thrones in the middle of the Luh Field of the Shamans, where the Kingdom of the Shaman was located.

"And you want him to be your Queen." His father rubbed his temples.

"To put it bluntly, yes."

"You do realize he's a boy right?"

"You always thought I was a nut."

"And his name is Renalina you say?"

"Well, he likes to be called Ren."

The Shaman King sighed. "Not that that helps any. Son, I always knew you were a nut.--"

"Did I _not_ just say that?"

"—but you are next in line to be the Shaman King! How can you produce an heir?"

Horohoro stared blankly and looked hopefully to his Mother. The Shaman Queen smiled weakly. "If Pilika has a child, he or she will be the heir. If our son is in love, a man though it may be, we cannot stand in the way and make his life miserable."

Horohoro did everything he could to restrain himself from glomping his Mother. "Sankyuu!" he beamed.

She only waved him off. "Go, bring this Ren to us so we can meet him."

Horohoro nodded. "I'll head out right away!" And he ran off towards where Kororo and his snowboard were waiting.

What he didn't tell his parents was that Ren was more intent on killing him than kissing him.

On the way to the windowsill where he first met Renalina, Horohoro was so overjoyed to see his love again that he talked to all the creatures he could on the way.

"Hi, fish!" He called down to the creek. "I'm still working on that ban of non-Koropokkuru safe tuna!"

"Hi birds!" he called to some owls in the trees. "I'm off to catch my own prey!"

"Hi, Marco!" he called to a frogman who had a large sack on his shoulder. "Nice to see you outside of your usual X-Laws routine!"

And, humming, he flew to the infamous windowsill only to find that Ren was no longer there.

~*~

Going back a bit, we find Marco hopping along the ground to the windowsill that he just happened to know that Ren was at. Upon reaching it, he wasted no time in nabbing the sleeping Ren.

Without a fight of course. Ren sensed his presence and sat upright in his walnut bed as soon as Marco shut the lid. His cowlick broke through the shell like a knife and Ren screamed… like a girl. But since his voice was a woman's anyway—no one seemed to care. (Note: I worship the ground Paku Romi walks on, by the way.) Ren immediately resorted to pounding on the walnut shell demanding to be let out. He hadn't seen his kidnapper, so he thought it to be Horohoro.

"Let me out, dumbass!" he continued to pound. "I'm going to KILL you!"

"Put a sock in it." Cam an unfamiliar voice and seconds later, Ren was shoved into a sack, hoisted onto a shoulder and out of the room. The bump had needless to say, make him a little dizzy and he fell unconscious.

He awoke some hours later to find himself in a miniature floating stage of some sort. A green haired girl was leaning over the sideo f the walnut shell, and as soon as she realized that Ren was awake, she squealed.

"Oh! You're awake! Can I get you anything?" she asked, excited.

Ren rubbed his head. "Aspirin would be nice… er… who the hell are you?"

"I'm Lyserg." She said. "One of the stars in the traveling troupe, the X-Laws!"

"That's a stupid name."

"Jeanne came up with it!" Lyserg pouted.

"…Jeanne?"  
  


"Another performer in the troupe. We're a magic act." Lyserg explained. "She's the one who gets in this Iron Maiden thing and we stick knives in her and she comes out unscathed."

"And what do you do?"

"I'm a hypnotist." She beamed. "I just use my crystal…" she pulled out his diamond shaped rock attached to a string. "It's quite an wesome performance."

"Yeah." Ren rolled his eyes. "I'll bet. Listen," he stood up and got out of his walnut shell bed. It was morning and dew covered everything. Not to mention he took quick note that water surrounded him from all sides. "I really need to get home, my sister will be very worried."

"You can't go!" Lyserg cried. "Marco took you to be my husband! You can be my assistant, and help with the magic show! You could be a human dart! We'll name you the 'Most-yummy-scrumboes-guy-besides-Hao-down-by-the-pub-who-incidentally-wants-to-overthrow-the-Shaman-King!"

Ren blinked. "Isn't that a little long?"

"No." she replied.

Ren sighed. "I am NOT going to be your husband either. I don't need a wife."

"Wife?" Lyserg wrinkled up her nose. "But I'm a _boy_."

Ren chocked on air, then managed to subconsciously look down to see the familiar bulge in the green haired boy's pants.

"Don't worry." Lyserg smiled. "People make that mistake a lot. We even have a part of the show where an audience member guesses my gender."

"I…see…" Ren said. "I'm leaving."

Marco suddenly appeared. "You are NOT going anywere. We have a show startingi n one hour and you're going ot be our star attraction."

Ren's cowlick began to grow. "I. am. NOT."

"Yes you are! I had Jeanne prepare a costume for you. I suggest you hange right away." Marco dropped a box on the floor by Ren's feet and pushed up his glasses.

Ren took one look at the box and opened his mouth to protest, but Lyserg beat him to speaking.

"Oh, look at the pretty costume!" He dug into the box and pulled out a black leather stomach shirt and black pants with diamond cuts up the legs that went too high for Ren's liking.

"I am NOT wearing that." Ren scowled. "The cuts go too high. People will see my boxers."

"Don't worry!" Lyserg grinned. "Wear a thong! I think I have an extra."

"A WHAT?!"

-

Ten minutes, three bites, ten hair pulls and four thousand two hundred and sixty one shouts of protest later, Ren was clad in his show uniform, complete with an extra thong of Lyserg's.

"This is _so_ degrading." Ren narrowed his eyes.

"You're so gorgeous!" Lyserg swooned. Marco just nodded in agreement.

"We'll have to get things ready and we can't have you going anywhere." Marco explained. "We'll be back n a half hour. Until then, I'm going to blatantly stick you on this deserted lily pad as a watery prison. Have a nice day."

Lyserg and Marco boarded their traveling little water troupe thingy and sped off into the distance, leaving poor Renalina looking like a slut who forgot to drink their daily amount of coffee alone on a lilypad.

That was, until he heard some REALLY annoying singing coming from somewhere above him.

"Yooooou're sure to do impossEEble things. If yoooo follow, your heaaaaaaaaart!"

"What. The. Hell?" Ren finally found the source of the annoying voice. This… person was hopping around with a little shiny stick. The stick was glowing from the bottom with this eerie blue light and it appeared that the light was allowing the person to propel himself around.

The person spied little Renalina down on the lilypad and landed beside him to see what was up. "Yo!"

Ren stared.

He had this awfully lazy grin on his face, and he stepped closer to Ren and tilted his head. "I'm Yoh. Aaaasakura Yoh. You look like a slut who forgot to drink their coffee."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Who are you?"

"Tired of you."

"Nice to meet you!" He grinned. Suddenly this little blue floating ball appeared beside Yoh's head. Ren gawked at it for a second, and for another second when it talked.

"Yoh-dono. I think he's in trouble."

"Trouble, you say?" Yoh tilted his head again. "Let's help him."

"He doesn't look like he wants your help, Yoh-dono." The blue head talked again.

"That talking piece of shit is right." Ren folded his arms. "I can get off this thing by myself. I don't need help from you."

"Hey!" Yoh cried. "That 'talking piece of shit' is my friend, Amidamaru! You take that back!"

"No."

"I won't help you…"

"I _told_ you, I don't need your help."

"I think you have a stick up your bum."

"No, only a thong."

"A WHAT?!"

"Just… GO AWAY!" Ren screamed in Yoh's face. Yoh just stood there for a second before smiling.

"I'm gonna get you off this thing."

"I said—"

"I don't care. I'm going to help you." He laughed this odd little 'eh-hehe' and hopped off the side of the lily pad.

He must have used the twig as a sword and sliced through the stem of the lilypad, because before Ren knew it, he was floating down the creek current. He couldn't believe it. The idiot had actually set him free. Not that he needed the help, of course.

Yoh reappeared in the water beside the floating lilypad. "How's that for good deed of the day, eh, Amidamaru?"

The floating head appeared next to him. "It was pure brilliance, Yoh-dono."

Ren rolled his eyes and suddenly had to steady his feet as the current got faster. And we all know that that can only mean one thing.

"You. DUMBASS!" Ren shouted at the laughing Yoh in the water. "You didn't save me, there's a fucking waterfall and I'm going to DIE now!"

"Look, I won't help you if you're going to be so ungrateful."

"YOU DIDN'T HELP ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

This tiny voice from the shore of the creek started hollering over both Ren and Yoh's voices. "Some people are TRYING to sleep!"

They looked over to see a tiny little girl who was even smaller than Ren. She had this adorable little dress on and was holding a toothbrush. "Who's the kid?" Ren asked.

"Milly. Part of the Lilly 5." Yoh sighed out of boredom.

"I hope you know there's a waterfall over there." Milly said.

"WE KNOW THAT!" Both Ren and Yoh snapped at her.

"Oooooh! You don't talk to me like that!" and she pulled out a crossbow from who-knows-where and shot Ren right in the chest.

"You… you SHOT him!" Yoh blasted out the creek. But it was too late. The shot from Milly had sent Ren flying from the lilypad and onto the shore. But he wasn't moving at all.

"Hey, hey, SPEAK to me!" Yoh shook him hard.

Ren coughed up water. "Get your paws off me you damn dirty shaman." And he pulled a miniature plunger off of his chest. Which was Milly's random roundabout way of saving Ren's life.

"Right, Sorry." Yoh dropped him. "Wait, how come you know I'm a shaman?"

"Only Shamans have those." He pointed to Amidamaru.

Yoh laughed again. "You know, you're almost as yummy scrumboes as Hao down by the pub who incidentally wants to take over the Shaman King's throne."

"Like I haven't heard that one before." Ren coughed up more water. Suddenly, this completely random idea sparked in his head. "Say, Yoh. You can sort of fly. Do you think you can take me back to my sister's place?"

"Dude, I don't even know your real name."

"Ren, ok?"

"Oh, so YOU'RE Ren!"

"What the—you know me?"

"Yeah, everyone in the Shaman Kingdom knows you! You've been chosen by none other than the Shaman Prince Horohoro to be his uh… spouse." Yoh beamed. "You're lucky."

"I met the guy last night!"

"You're REALLY lucky then."

"I," Ren shouted. "Am not lucky at all. I want to KILL him."

"Well, that's not nice."

"Of COURSE it's not! Because I'm not nice!"

"You need some Anger Management. Stay here. I'll go find some, OK?" Yoh pulled out his twig again and it started to glow blue.

"Wait! Yoh, you have to take me to my sisters!" But by then, Yoh had waved his goodbyes and propelled himself out of the area and into the blue sky.

Muttering curses under his breath, Ren plunged into the grass next to him in hopes of finding someone that could possibly help him find his way back home. And if not, hell, he'd just find his way home by himself.

He took no more than two steps before this tall, skinny guy with the creepiest hair in all of the Shaman World stepped out from behind a flower and bowed low.

"I couldn't help but notice." He said in a calmlike manner, but that was soon gone because these ridiculous hearts appeared in his eyes and he swayed back and forth. "That you're more yummy scrumboes than Hao down by the pub that incidentally wants to overthrow the Shaman King!"

"Will people STOP with that?!" Ren trudged onward, ignoring him.

"Come back, my lovely!" The tall man ran after him. "I see you're troubled."

"That's not the half of it."

The man grinned. "I'm Ryu."

"Did I ask?"

"No, but I have a proposition for you."

"Do I care?"

"Probably not."

"Then, go away."

"Just hear me out!" Ryu got on his knees and pleaded. Ren was taken aback and he looked around him to make sure no one was around to see.

"Alright, already. Just… get off the ground."

"Ohhh, thank you thank you!" Ryu stood up and dusted himself off. "How would you like to see your name in lights? You'd be a STAR! The most famous uh… thing, ever! What do you say?"

"Why would I want that? I'm just trying to find my way home."

"Well, whoever is at home is probably looking for you and your name in lights would be a dead giveaway at where you are." Ryu stroked his chin and laughed at his cleverness.

Ren pondered this for a moment and finally gave in. It wouldn't hurt to get a little publicity anyway. After all, it would just prove to everyone else that he was better than them. "Alright. Tell me what I have to do."

~*~

"The Best Place?" Ren raised an eyebrow. "What a stupid name for a club."

"And you could do better?" Ryu said, a random vein twitching.

"I'd call it, The Ren."

"Just, GET ON STAGE!" Ryu shoved him out from behind the curtains and in the next moment, Ren found himself on a stage in front of hundreds of males. Drinking dewdrop beer or slapping each other's asses.

Ren cleared his throat and got everyone's attention. Ryu hadn't told him exactly _what he was supposed to do, except: "You'll find out when you hit the stage. Trust me, you'll be a STAR!"_

Well, Ren thought. If he was going to be a star, then here goes nothing.

He opened his mouth to say something, but instead of him talking, it was a member of the audience.

"TAKE IT OFF!"

Ren was caught off guard for a second, but then: "WHAT?!"

"Oh, come on, pretty. Just take it off! Hao does it for us!" that same voice yelled.

Ren's cowlick grew. So _this was the pub that everyone kept talking about when they mentioned Hao. And __this was why he was so yummy scrumboes? Because he was stripper material?_

The thong didn't help.

"I am _not_ degrading myself for you… you PIGS!" Ren screamed and stormed from the stage. Tomato's and berries were hurled at him and random men shouted out 'Prude!' But at this point, Ren didn't care, he was busy running from the club as fast as he possibly could.

Once at a safe distance, Ren sad on a rock and screamed as loud as he possibly could. No thanks to that damn Marco guy, his life had turned upside down. No, it was no thanks to that damn Shaman Prince Horohoro! Ren would definitely kill him the next time he saw him.

"Ah! Ren, there you are!" the voice of Asakura Yoh, the annoying shaman came from somewhere above him. Ren looked up to see him perched on a blade of grass.

"What do _you_ want?"

"I've found you an Anger Management Counselour! And she's got a nice warm home too, considering that it's almost Winter now."

"Autumn just started like two days ago!"

"I always thought this movie was a little weird too. But I manage." Yoh shrugged. "Well, I'll take you to her place. It's not far."

"How about you take me home?"

"Nah, you need some help first." Yoh swooped down and grabbed Ren from around the waist. Then, he launched himself forward again using his glowing blue twig.

Ren was tired of being carried off by everyone and everything, so, needless to say, he kicked and screamed at the top of his lungs for Yoh to let him go. But Yoh just kept singing this ridiculous song.

"You're, sure to do impossEEble things. If you follow your heaaaart!"

"I'm gonna follow your heart all the way up your ass if you don't put me down!"

"I'll say that's the thong talking and not you." Yoh smiled, and continued on with his annoying song. Ren cursed to himself and pretty much had to accept the ride.

~*~

"I swear! He wouldn't run away from me, he was KIDNAPPED!" Horohoro explained to his parents back at the Luh Field of the Shamans. "Please, I need a  search party to help me find him!"

"We're sorry, son." The Shaman King said. "But we've been scheduled to start the First Frost by the Great Spirit. Everyone is too busy getting ready for it."

"Screw the Great Spirit!" Horohoro cried. "This is that random true love thing that fairy tales keep talking about!"

"Then you go find him." The Shaman Queen smiled.

"I'll do that." Horohoro nodded. "Come, Kororo!" He picked up his snowboard.

And ran into a wall.

**TBC!**

**Kitzaku****: Crap, it's been too long since I've seen the movie that I forgot like… half the crap in it. -.-; In any case, I probably skipped a lot, because the 'Anger Managament Counselour' is really your Resident Field Mouse. *sings* Deary! MARRY THE MOLE!**

That song is just so spiffy. XD And I'm having too much fun with Ren wearing a thong. Heh.

**Yugi**** Muse: This one was funner to write than the last chapter.**

**Knives: **It's because there's too much talking and… yeah. o-o. No one cares, just R&R or something. 


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